Mommy in the Raw: When Looks Really Matter
Wednesday
Jun 30, 2010
Recently I considered applying for a part-time gig at my local Starbucks. That would be in addition to my real job and my, you know, being a mom to two young children. Oh, and my blogging. And my going to the gym. And my having any semblance of a relationship with my husband. See, this is what I was thinking: a free pound of coffee a week, free coffee drinks (big, big yay!), and the opportunity to wear a baseball cap to hide the fact that I haven’t had a chance to wash my hair in several days.
Unfortunately, it’s all just a pipe dream because, I seem to have cultivated a learning disability which prevents me from being able to brew drinkable coffee. If you want soapy coffee, I’m your gal. Weak coffee? Have a seat. Hot water that somehow didn’t filter properly through the grounds? Coming right up. Drinkable coffee? Sorry. Mental block. Keep it moving.
So, I can’t make coffee. Big whoop. Take a look around to see all the other things I do with grace and poise. Like for instance…Wait! Don’t look there! I haven’t swept up the half-eaten mini waffles, cheerios, or banana bits on the floor surrounding the high chair. Stop! Don’t look there, either! My two year old got a hold of the roll of paper towels and had a little party with them in the corner. Oh no! Please! Avert your gaze from over there too! That’s where my four year old emptied out the contents of the diaper bag in search of what? Oh, that’s right. He was looking for his “beaver chair.” (Don’t ask me…)
Ok. I know what you’re thinking: “This girl can’t make coffee and her house is a wreck. What kind of a home-maker is she?” Well, I’m a lousy one. I admit it. My inability to make coffee is a metaphor for my home-making in general. It simply sucks. But I have mad mom skills and I’m really good at my job. Also, I’m pretty.
Comments
Nica Sugden
June 30th, 2010 at 9:58 am
Just take a deep breaths… jajajaj
Manic Mommy
June 30th, 2010 at 10:03 am
From one Starbucks girl to another, I have to believe the machines do most of the work. Also, I’m pretty too.
Beth Stickney
June 30th, 2010 at 10:08 am
I used to be pretty, pre-motherhood. Does that count?
Kerry
June 30th, 2010 at 10:08 am
LOVE IT!!! As a Mom of 5…this is PERFECT and really…we should get together around my Keriug coffee pot….you really need to get one. Perfect cup in 60 seconds every time!!! And I wount look at your bananas on the floor if you dont look at mine….lol.
Mary
June 30th, 2010 at 10:29 am
I soooo needed this today. I have 4 kids of my own, my boyfriend has 2 kids, plus I take care of 2-4 other kids a day. I always dread when I hear a knock at the door because I know I have to make excuses for the condition of the house lol. It is not horrible, just well lived in.
Meredith
June 30th, 2010 at 10:32 am
My grandmother had six kids and a salesman husband who was on the road 5 days a week, and she used to say that you can either have a happy family OR a clean house, but not both unless you hire a maid.
So Kami, it sounds to me like your family prefers your “mad mom skills” to your housekeeping skills, which is as it should be.
Susan
June 30th, 2010 at 11:04 am
I am a mom to 3 at home and a 23/yr old, my youngest is 4… I have been a stay at home Mom forever! Recently (just over a year ago) I decided I needed a job… but what does an unskilled stay at home mom do? I thought “I can clean a mean house!!” So I started posting ads and voila! I got myself a pretty good little business going! BUT… when it comes to cleaning my own house, well let’s just say I have been lacking. The laundry is piled 3/ft high and don’t even ask about the kitchen! There is enough dog hair on the floor to make a new dog… a mastiff/lab X! But alas, I am pretty too, after all we gotta have something going for us! And when you see me in Safeway with 3 kids in tow, I’m hoping you’ll say “Wow! She looks pretty fine for having a 23/yr old + 3 at home!” ; ) And you would never guess that my house is a disaster zone!
Roni
June 30th, 2010 at 11:42 am
Well I too have been a stay home mom wanting to get back into the reeal world..maybe just to escape my mini waffles and bananas litering my kitchen..I can do coffee but never find the time..I have resorted to instant..heating a cup of water and add the granules somehow has become my way of morning ritual. I have 3 kids at home and one away in the military..2 are pre teen and one entitled teenager..:( I would love to have the toddler stage right about now..oh and I am pretty too!!!
Rosi
June 30th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Somebody should really inform my husband that being a stay at home mom REALLY is a full time job!I have 3 boys ages 2, 7, and 12. As soon as one mess is cleaned up another one is in the making. There is no end! I get up a 5 every morning in an attempt to get as much done as I can before the kids get up at 7… yet somehow this always turns into my me-time where I check my FB, email (nothing gets cleaned during this time) and simply drink my coffee in peace and quiet. Which by the way, my coffee turns out well only if I make a full pot. Somehow I have never been able to bet the measurements right on a half pot. I swear I put half the amount of water and grounds and it just does NOT work! It is either colored hot water or a thick dark black mess!
Laura
June 30th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
My hats off to you stay at home mamas! I go to work to escape my house and kids! I know – terrible – but that’s why I don’t stop working!
Chantelle
June 30th, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Hahahahha I love this post. I’ve often stood and looked around at my house in it’s usual disaster mode and thought to myself, “well, at least I’m pretty”. lol And I second the Keriug recommendation! I’d be lost without mine
Meg
June 30th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
I’m a stay-at-home mum with a disaster zone for a house – and I look like a potato! Boo hoo!
Kim
June 30th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Potatoes are beautiful, too… from one beautiful potato to another.
Sheri
June 30th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
I’m a mom of 2 beautiful girls, 3 and 6. My hubby and I are both working on our doctorates, plus I teach. My house is full of goldfish particles (the cracker), 1/2 done “projects”, piles and piles of books and papers, among other unmentionables. But I’m a pretty sweet potato (place the emphasis where you will). My only other saving grace is that I can make exactly 2 cups of coffee that taste good (sadly, no more, no less and only in the privacy of my own messy kitchen). I admire the bravery it requires to make it out of the house to attempt to make any amount of whatever quality coffee for anyone, at any time!
Lorraine
June 30th, 2010 at 3:32 pm
OMG!!!! You made me feel a hundred percent better, thank you for the smile and tonight I’ll cheer you with my first glass, that is after I play the 10th game of CA speed (is that the same as NY speed) and wash the dishes, do al load of laundy, and give a bath…I’ll toast then
Kathryn
June 30th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
I’m a part time working Mum (I’m in New Zealand we don’t have Moms) of 2 preteen girls. We are renovating our house and I currently have the washing machine laundry tub and beer fridge in my small lounge. Arghh. But with a nice glass of Merlot and a good friend I can make the mess fade into the background ahhh…
Rhonda
June 30th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
So glad I came across this , I’m having one of those days! house full of kids toys everywhere, laundry coming out of my ears, out of coffee but chard chilling in the fridg for later
Andrea L
June 30th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Thank-you, ladies! I feel better already
Just sent the hubby out to pick me up a nice bottle of white wine..it’s about time he did something lol 
Jodi McFarlane
July 1st, 2010 at 1:41 am
Unreal, I had no idea there were so many like minded Mums out there! I have 5 kids aged 16,15,12,11 & 10. I love my wine and live in grape growing country in the south of Western Australia, so its on tap here! I read something today that I want to share with you all, Real mothers have Sticky floors,filthy ovens, sticky and happy kids! I love it cos it sums up my place to a ‘T’. Keep smiling ladies!
GSX-R750 guy
July 1st, 2010 at 2:39 am
Being a blogger is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.
Sent from my Android phone
Tracey
July 24th, 2010 at 3:54 am
i have 3 kids have been divorced for 6 years and have been back at work for 3 years. My kids are now 10,11 and 13 and you know what my house is still a mess and I don’t care anymore. I had one of those husbands who was stupid enough to come home from his desk job to me and 3 kids under 3 and have the audacity to ask “what have you done all day, why is the hose still a mess?” not too many guesses as to why hes now an X husband.
amanda
August 3rd, 2010 at 3:04 pm
that’s why summer’s our nice, after the kids are in bed, you can sit outside and forget that messy house
amanda
August 3rd, 2010 at 3:04 pm
***are not OUR. jeesh
Eula28Austin
August 9th, 2010 at 3:35 am
I think that to receive the loan from banks you ought to have a great motivation. Nevertheless, once I’ve received a consolidation loan, because I was willing to buy a car.