Mommy in the Raw: D.A.M.N. (Developmentally Appropriate Momming Now!)
Thursday
Aug 26, 2010
I just read an awesome article that basically says letting babies play by themselves is really good for them. That’s all I needed to hear. In my constant struggle for self-identity in this chaotic working mother world I live in, I’ve finally been given the permission I’ve been waiting for, permission to ignore my children when I get home from work! Hallelujah! Finally a way to infuse more time into my day. Now I can happily leave my two- and four-year-olds in a room, alone, together, to you know, be boys, beat the crap out of each other, grab toys from one another, cry, scream, fuss, and need things from me that they can’t get for themselves, like snacks and/or water. And while this “playing” is going on, I can do really important things like becoming cooler and more tech savvy by Twittering, Facebooking, text messaging, and um, microwaving their dinner.
I feel so liberated!
It’s no wonder I’ve been having such a hard time balancing all this. I thought that hanging out with my kids was part of the deal, sort of an unspoken understanding. I thought I’d be sent to Mommy Prison if someone caught me on the computer or the phone instead of building Lego towers. I thought that I’d get stoned if it somehow got out that occasionally, I like to close the bathroom door when I have to pee and I’m home alone with my kids. What dear God have I been subjecting myself to? How could I not have gotten the memo that ignoring our children will build an independent, self-directed future generation? I’m in support of that. I like independence and self-direction. I often wish I had more of it. Maybe this is my chance.
So, you are hearing it here first. I’m turning over a new leaf. When I get home from work this afternoon, after having picked up my little ones from daycare, I’m going to look them both in eye and say, “well, guys, I’m off to get a pedicure. I’ll catch you all on the flip side. Milk’s in the fridge. Goldfish crackers are in the pantry. Please don’t watch TV. Unless you get really bored. And if that happens, please don’t tell Daddy. He hates when you watch TV. Peace out! I mean, love you!”
For more from Kami, check out her blog at: www.workingmomfence.com or follow her on Twitter: @workingmomfence
Comments
Kate
August 27th, 2010 at 9:07 am
Cute post, but I think you might be being a little TOO flippant about the whole thing. We’ve been letting (read: forcing) our son to play alone for short periods of time since he was toddling. Obviously, we’re not off getting tattoos or pounding beers – but, within reason, not only does it give the kid time to develop creativity and self-soothing skills, but it gives the parent a much-deserved break. Oh, and this ALSO works if you get together with other parent-friends. You put ALL the tots together in a safe place, leave the room and go have light snacks and drinks (in real glasses) with all the other exhausted parents… Remember, it’s good for their social skills!
Rebecca Dampier
August 27th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Right on! I spent the entire time holding my first (because she demanded it, and because that’s what the “experts” say to do). To this day she expects to be center stage and has a hard time soothing herself at almost 5 years old. Now compare that to my younger one who spends hours on the floor entertaining herself. She does not seem to be hard done by it. And she is a great self-soother…..I guess you’ll have to ask me in a couple of years how things turned out since my youngest only just turned 1 yr. this month!
AK
August 27th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
“When I get home from work this afternoon, after having picked up my little ones from daycare”… Maybe you NEED a pedicure if this is your attitude about self-soothing. SHEESH.
After reading the completely obnoxious post above, I think I will get rid of this app. on FB. I don’t need that kind of crap (let’s face it, there’s enough of it on FB already) in my newsfeed.
SlaterHelene21
October 31st, 2010 at 2:22 pm
I guess that to receive the mortgage loans from creditors you must have a good motivation. However, one time I have got a college loan, because I wanted to buy a bike.