Call it a curse, of sorts. But I swear nearly every single mom can see something *before* it happens. It’s as though somehow, being presented with your child when they are born or adopted into your family turns you into a superhero. Congratulations! Not only are you a mom, you now have … MOMMYVISION.

Mommyvision allows moms everywhere to look at a situation, and see all the potential outcomes in an instant. While a passerby may see your kid playing and jumping on the wheelchair ramp; the mom sees a kid face down on the concrete after tripping on the edge. Others watch your cute toddler taking first steps outside on the deck; the mom sees that same little one falling into the kiddie pool she’s headed toward.

And lucky you –the gift of Mommyvision isn’t the only superpower motherhood confers. You’ve also been annointed with it’s twin: Superhearing. This supernatural sense can not only pick up the tones of playing that will turn into an argument faster than you can say “one toy; two kids” — it also alerts moms as to when it’s *too* quiet. As in: “Where’s that pan of brownies that I put in the fridge? They were here a minute ago…” quiet. Or “Those kids have been upstairs for a long time, and I haven’t heard a peep…” and you find them silently readying to paint their bathroom walls with spongebob squarepants toothpaste.

The superpowers have their uses. I, for one, prefer to keep my kids tumbling-down-the-stairwell-free, and mommyvision allows me to see that the tug of war happening in my daughter’s doorframe on the second floor could very well lead to one or both of them at the bottom of the stairs in a pile of broken bones. And the ability to hear the exact moment when play wrestling is about to leech over into real-world harm allows you to intercede before real damage is done.

So, face it: mom, you’re a superhero, with the mad skillz to prove it.

I just hope the costume comes with a spanx base layer.