Reason #11 I’m a Bad Mom: I enable my baby’s drug habit
Tuesday
Aug 10, 2010
Well, it’s not like he can support it himself – he’ll need to learn to walk and talk before he can score his own smack.
At some point in my pregnancy I must have been exposed to gamma rays or toxic waste or something, because instead of a baby I gave birth to a barracuda. One afternoon a few months ago I collected C at daycare and had a hard time recognising him: I’d left a toothless baby in the morning, and now they were giving me a boy with two perfect lower teeth. Just like that, no warning. Pop! Teeth!
He’s been teething nonstop since; I think he’s on his third row of teeth now.
I’ve said this before: he is an angel, but he is only human. Teething makes him cranky; he groans and whines, he drools like a German Shepherd at the beach, and his expression changes from “smiling cherub” to “Winston Churchill having a bad day.”
First, I tried the natural remedies: German chamomile (known here as matricaria,) fancy teething rings, letting him chew my knuckles into a pulp. No luck. Wet washcloth, chilled in the freezer? Nope. Cotton balls soaked in chamomile infusion? Blech.
I was almost used to his surly new expression, when daycare shocked me again by giving me back a sweet, smiling boy. How did they do this? I had to know! “Oh, we just spritzed some of this on his gums, we have used it on all the babies here when they are teething and it works like a charm.”
I tried some on myself, and woo-hoo, it numbed my gums instantly, just like… you know, something else that numbs your gums instantly (ahem).
It was lidocaine.
*Choir of angels singing*
Now whenever he gets tetchy and looks ready to start bombing Dresden, I whip out the magic bottle and give him a few spritzes of the good stuff. Oooh yeah.
(Curious fact: this is one of very few things I do that actually have my mother’s approval and endorsement. Go figure.)
For more reasons I’m a bad Mom, visit my blog at: http://1000reasonsimabadmom.com/
Comments
Ushan
August 10th, 2010 at 9:36 am
LOVE IT – You do what you have to do – wish I knew this when my son was teething
Kathy
August 10th, 2010 at 9:40 am
I rubbed Brandy on my daughter’s gums when she was teething. I’m wondering just now if that’s why she’s a drinker.
Angela
August 10th, 2010 at 10:12 am
Wow, who knew! Where can I get some, do you need a prescription for it? My son is totally teething right now, and I’ve tried everything as well. This could be the magic that I’m looking for!
Amarula
August 10th, 2010 at 10:47 am
This really made my day ! I am a 50 year old mum with a 3 year old son !Now I dont give a monkeys what other mums say ! I just look at a wonderful happy little boy who thrives because of me and his dad !
Shelli
August 10th, 2010 at 11:06 am
WOW! Where can I get some? Do you need a prescription?? Really, I’d LOVE to know where to get it. My 10.5 month old is teething right now and this may do the trick…although now i’m thinking about the brandy option! (Thanks Kathy)
Jeanie
August 10th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
Just a note on the brandy… you may think it’s only a little, but to a small human it’s a lot. You can poison a child with alcohol; don’t give a child alcohol in any amount.
lynette
August 10th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
lemon juice (fresh) massage it on the gums it works you cant overdose it
Tara
August 10th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
well we use cream de mint. we dilute it with water and dip a wash cloth in it and put it in the freezer for a few minutes. it works like a charm!!!
Sharon
August 10th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
To those mothers preaching no alcohol do you honestly believe any self respecting protector of their child would put more than what can fit on the tip of your finger to a baby? Oh please, you were probably raised at the same time as the rest of us with small children and no doubt you got a dose or two of brandy on your gums.
KB
August 10th, 2010 at 9:32 pm
This is soooo American. In Canada a childcare facility would loose it’s license to operate if they gave a child ANY medication without a signed permission form from the parent. As for the booze on the teeth, my grandfather was a DR. and he used to put a bit of whiskey in our bottles to make us sleep at night,haha. I am sure he used more than a bit on the fingertips! and we are okay
The Baby Mama
August 11th, 2010 at 4:31 am
My little girl is only 13 months and only has 4 teeth to go. We live for the day when teething will be over with, and we hope for that day to be soon (with only 4 to go, and these four are stubborn little monsters playing Red Rover with her gums). But, we hope that when it is all done, she will start to sleep. Oh, sleep, sleep, glorious sleep. And yes, she is so very cute. And I tried everything as well – none worked. Wish I knew about this when all her other teeth were coming through…
Stacie
August 11th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
It’s not necessarily just Canadian childcare facilities that would be in trouble for this. The daycare where my daughter used to go needed a note for everything including diaper cream!
My baby is suffering miserably with the teeth that are trying to come in now. *off to look into lidocaine and lemon juice!*
Crimson Rambler
August 14th, 2010 at 12:49 am
Yes, I’ve heard of the creme de menthe technique, and we had a little cousin who had his gums rubbed with Scotch when he was teething…it became very embarrassing when there was company, because when Uncle went to the liquor cabinet to fix drinks for the guests…here came Junior with his mouth open like a baby bird!!!
Jan
October 19th, 2010 at 2:17 am
I think that I am unlike-ing MWMW. This site seems to try to keep moms in the perpetual “Guilt Mode”. Our children need parents who have confidence in what they do and why they do it. If MWMW can show me differently, then I’ll stay with it.
Daphne
October 25th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
My mom would dose me with Paragoric…(liquid morphine) when I teethed. Don’t feel bad about the lidocaine…it’s a step up…..lol.
Callie
November 1st, 2010 at 9:46 am
i used to rub red wine on my daughters gums when she was teething, worked so well. Got the idea from my mum.
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