Mommy in the Raw: Sleep is Like Crack for Moms

This morning, I woke up irrationally angry. It was 5:45am. And my three year old was screaming and crying and throwing his body around and yelling, “I WANT TO WAKE UP! I WANT TO WAKE UP!” because I’d stupidly told him to go back to bed. Did I mention it was 5:45am? (Better than 5, but still…)

He clearly wasn’t going back to bed. So, I sort of yelled a bit myself. “EITHER STOP CRYING OR GO BACK TO SLEEP!” As if I were offering him actual options, right? I mean, screaming and crying is way more fun than sleeping.


Who wouldn’t want to jump out of bed at the ass crack of dawn on a day they could conceivably sleep until noon?

Oh, wait. Kids don’t learn that til college or something.

I was so irrationally angry about waking up early to the sound of my child’s crazed tantrumming, that after yelling that ridiculous ultimatum, I actually punched a door. With my fist.

Be afraid, people. Be very afraid. This is what happens to me when I don’t get my required 8+ hours of sleep a night.

For like 6 years straight.

I wish I were one of those psycho-geniuses who operate optimally on 4 hours of sleep. (Yeah, I’m totally calling Thomas Edison a psycho-genius. You wanna piece of me?) But, alas. I’m not. And going to bed at 9pm seems, well, scandalous, when there’s a perfectly good Twilight book taunting me from the bedside table.

Don’t worry. My three year wasn’t freaked out in the least. He laughed at me, in fact. Yes, my punch was that inadequate that it made a three year old laugh. This experience taught me that I could not possibly defend myself against a bad guy if the need arose. On the flip side, my hand is totally ok.

Admittedly, punching doors before sunrise seems like a warning sign. Of something. I’m not sure what. I let you know more after I sleep on it.

At some point.

Kami is the ever-so proud mom of two great little guys, born 2006 and 2008. But man, do they give her a run for her money, so she's gone and decided to tell it like it is. She works full-time, hangs with the kids and her man on her off hours, and enjoys a nice glass of red most evenings. For sanity's sake. You can also find Kami at: or on Twitter: @workingmomfence
16 Responses to Mommy in the Raw: Sleep is Like Crack for Moms
  1. Shanon Reply

    HA! I wake up like this all the time. This is why my children cry for daddy in the night and come in and wake up Daddy in the morning! They know better! 😉

  2. Karen Reply

    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! I thought I was the worst Mom in the Universe – the only one who lost it like that! @Patti – I did that also but felt so lame for wanting to sleep in & have TVsitter, I stopped & grumblingly got my butt outta bed to be the “mom”. I was trying to get my B.S. so was up until 2am doing schoolwork, then dragging myself up at 6am to resemble a human when I woke them @7am for school – the slightest irritation would set me off. I’m better now tho’ – Thanks MWNW & MITR blog.

  3. Keri Reply

    THANK YOU so much for posting this. It is the reason why we read blogs: affirmation that we are not alone nor crazy. I punched my son’s door tonight because he was completely unreasonable at bedtime. And one of the reasons I was so upset was because I wanted to go to bed myself (at 8PM – because no matter what, they are up at 6AM)! Kudos to you, and once again, thank you for voicing what I could not.

  4. Patti Reply

    I have three kids, the first two were born in my twenties, and I was just as frustrated. In my late thirties, I had my third child, and six hours sleep a night wasn’t going to work. So, I set a bowl of cheerios out, put a measuring cup with 1/2 milk on the bottom shelf of the fridge, pre-set the t.v. to PBS before going to bed. I taught him how to fix his breakfast and sit quietly watching PBS after. By the time he was two, I was sleeping 11p.m. to 8 a.m. every day that I did not have to leave at 6:30 a.m.. He was so proud to be self sufficient, and now at the age of 10, he wakes me up just in time to throw some clothes on, brush my teeth, and take him to school on time. He has already made his own lunch, and dressed in his uniform. Instead of watching T.V., now he reads, because he enjoys starting the day with some quiet time.

  5. tarellagirl Reply

    i am completely hearing you. I haven’t had a full nights sleep since our eldest child was born 15 years ago. I operaste in a complete daze of sleep deprivation and never feeling rested. it sucks.

  6. Louise Reply

    We will never catch up on that sleep. Ever. No wonder they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture.

  7. Dy Reply

    Hey Ladies, wait until you have 3 or more teens in the house, that’s when you move on to the hard stuff…. Whiskey or something just as kickass! Oh, and no morning is complete or liveable without 3 cups of coffee, just a tip, the sleep doesn’t get any better and you realise then there are worse things then no sleep. Bring back the toddler days I say. Good luck with it all and don’t forget to have a wine when you do get ‘me’ time. 😉

  8. Ashley Lawson Reply

    I set my alarm to get up before my kids and have a cup of coffee in order to deal with the morning. I’m not happy when 2 year old DS decides to get up before I’m done surfing the net and sipping my coffee, in silence, yes, silence! It sure is golden, isn’t it?

  9. Sandy Reply

    There is something about waking up before the sun on my day off that pushes me over the edge. It doesn’t help that my husband has mastered the fake sleeping and my kids no longer even bother with him. So glad I’m not alone.

  10. Jacki Reply

    In what way, shape or form is that an “irrational” anger??

  11. Lori Reply

    Into year 8, I’ve totally given up and converted to their sleep schedule…I go to bed with them and am STILL cranky when they wake up before me…which, as a matter of fact, is always. I think I’m still catching up from the first 3 years. OH, and no, I have no evening social agenda – otherwise, I’m sure I’d do something bolder.

  12. Maria Reply

    OMG!! I wake up like this most mornings and usually end up feeling horrible for being soo angry, almost as if something is wrong with me but its good to hear im not alone…lol! This morning my 22 month old woke up as soon as my husband closed the door when he left for work (5:35 a.m.)almost as if his internal Daddy radar was sounding all crazy about it. All he kept saying was “I want my daddy, my daddy, daddy” Oh yea Great times.

  13. Stephanie Reply

    I don’t see anything irrational about this… is there something wrong with me too?

  14. Vanessa Reply

    You are SO not alone. I have always been a night person, and even after having kids I can’t seem to go to sleep early. Add to that that when the kids FINALLY go to sleep themselves, it’s the only “me” time I get… ever, so how am I supposed to just go to sleep when I finally can watch regular TV and not Dora or Yo Gabba Gabba. When all four (10,5,3 and 2) of my children woke up early today (early as in 6:30 instead of 7:00 to get ready for school) I angrily sat in bed and hollered at them to go back to sleep too. While I didn’t punch a door I angrily threw pajamas in the laundry basket and quite annoyed pushed the toaster down really hard. I’m so excited that my kids have Friday off from school. I am spending all week looking forward to “sleeping in” on Friday. Yet I know it’s a fruitless hope. One day… one day…

  15. Heather Reply

    I punched my desk the other day because my kids woke me up early and then they were cranky all day. I hurt my hand. Not the desk though. I’m going back to bed.

  16. Jess Reply

    Oh yes. My two-year-old was up at 3am this morning. The moonlight was bright enough for him to start yelling, “MOMMY, IT’S NOT NIGHTTIME ANYMORE!” Um. Yes it is. Go back to sleep. 😐

    I punched the wall though, without even getting out of bed. Glad it’s not just me.

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