About Christina-Marie

Christina-Marie Wright is the manic mother of seven, wife to a real estate professional and political activist (the same guy—Mr. Wright) and author of the hilarious "Everything I Need to Know About Motherhood I Learned from Animal House," available on Amazon. After giving birth to one child—just to see if her body worked—she picked up four full-time stepchildren and two adopted children along her zigzagging path to (near) self-actualization. Her family isn’t “blended.” It’s “pureed.” That frothy blend of maternal mayhem includes: Princess (stepdaughter, b. 1990, Veterinary Medicine student), The Dude (stepson, b. 1993, employed, living on his own), Pockets (bio son, b. 1994, attending college), Pepper (stepdaughter, b. 1996, high school diva), GirlWonder (stepdaughter, b. 1997, middle school over-achiever), Curlytop (adopted daughter, b. 2005, special needs child allergic to Red Dye 40) and Snugglebug (adopted daughter, b. 2006, diagnosed Sensory Processing Dysfunction, also allergic to Red Dye 40). A vegan for over 15 years, and a Washington state native, Christina-Marie makes her home along the Columbia River, and the view from her living room is better than yours. She's also a sexual health consultant, and absolutely capable of teaching you how to find your G-spot. You can find Christina-Marie hanging out with a snifter of Southern Comfort at TheGonzoMama.com and SexyVeganMama.com.

Yours, Mine and Theirs: Pimp My Mom Ride

Dear Pimp My Mom Ride: You may have seen me driving around town. That 20-year-old SUV with “WASH ME” etched into the quarter-inch of dirt and caked mud (thanks, kids)? Yeah, that was me. Should any of my friends contact you to say my vehicle needs an overhaul (it does!), I’d appreciate it if you don’t let them know we’ve been in touch. I know loved ones always have suggestions as to … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: My Summer F*&# It List

School is ready to release for the summer, and Pinterest tells me all the good mothers of the world are looking forward to accomplishing five hundred things on their “Summer Bucket Lists” while enrolling their precious progeny in day camps, sports clinics, adventure learning sessions, and spending invaluable “quality downtime” as a family. Um… yeah. That’s not exactly my plan for the … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: I’m Ready… Or Not!

I had the good fortune to see my 39th birthday last month. Yep. This year will be the last time I’ll be able to say, with a smile and straight face, “I’m only 39!” Am I ready to turn 40? Not really. I don’t feel 40. Except my feet. My feet feel every single day of 60. They’ve logged a lot of miles, hops and bounces -- walking down to the old swimming hole every day of every summer … [Read more...]

Your, Mine and Theirs: Not Your Typical Valentine’s Day

As the mother of two children with Red Dye allergies, no holiday is more terrifying than Valentine’s Day. So. Much. Pink. And, red. Oh, and also some purple, thrown in for good measure. My kids are the odd ones out, whose teachers have to capture all the candies attached to the cheap, cartoon-splashed paper cards. We send “safe” treats for Curlytop and Snugglebug, for which they trade in … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: How I’m Already #Winning2014

Ah, 2013... Just when I started to really get to know you, you cut loose, leaving me with only memories. Remember all the promises we made to each other? What did you call them... Resolutions? Remember how my promise to be more organized burned into a crispy mess, like a French fry stuck in the bottom of the deep-fryer? Remember how Christmas Eve came, and I still didn't have the tree … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: 10 Things I Learned on Vacation with My Family

We've returned from Oahu to the freezing wasteland -- er, make that wonderland -- that is home. Thank goodness, because all that disgusting sunshine and private beach time is enough to get on anyone's nerves. I came back with annoyingly tanned skin, too, and was forced to create romantic memories with Mr. Wright. The horror. The trip wasn't a total waste, though. I did pick up some very valuable … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: Vegging Out

Snugglebug suddenly and vocally expressed her intention to become a vegetarian from the back seat of the car on the way back from church this week. To be fair, the revelation came following a visit to a farm a couple weeks ago, with an attached petting zoo comprised of rescued farm animals. Snugglebug particularly bonded with the fowl and game birds. "Dad, I don't want to eat turkey for … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: A Bass Only A Mother Could Love

This month, we are celebrating Kids and the Arts with our sponsor, KRIS Wines. KRIS and Americans for the Arts are teaming up to grant up to $25,000 to Arts Education programs in the U.S. Vote for your school today at www.facebook.com/kriswines. Shortly before his seventeenth birthday, Pockets brought home a new pet. “Oh, fantastic!” I cried. “Now, we’ll have to feed it, train it, get … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: 10 Ideas that Sounded Good…Until I Had Kids

Before accumulating seven children, I had ideas. They were good ideas, and they had merit, damn it. Those ideas were so soundly rooted into my envisioned future as a parent, I doubted neither their wisdom, nor my ability and desire to carry them out. Wanna hear some? (It’s okay to laugh out loud at my shortsightedness.) 1. Natural Childbirth is the ONLY Way to Go. This particular vow was … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: This Mama Sells Sex Toys

Hi. I’m Christina-Marie, and I sell sex toys. Okay, so the thing is, I don’t call them “sex toys.” Sure, they’re fun, but I prefer to think of them as “bedroom accessories.” They’re meant to complement and enhance, not replace, a woman’s existing intimacy routine. Maybe you woke up today, put on a fabulous dress, and threw on some amazing earrings as accents. When you looked in … [Read more...]