View from the Empty Nest: Paris Awaits

People who have the courage to just stop what they are doing and start all over are heroic, in my opinion. Reinventing oneself is unbelievably courageous. Once most of us are on a path, living in a place, doing a job, and making a living, that is it—whether we are happy or not. So it was with great admiration that I watched the latest episode of House Hunters International. Wow. I had to … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: Pimp My Mom Ride

Dear Pimp My Mom Ride: You may have seen me driving around town. That 20-year-old SUV with “WASH ME” etched into the quarter-inch of dirt and caked mud (thanks, kids)? Yeah, that was me. Should any of my friends contact you to say my vehicle needs an overhaul (it does!), I’d appreciate it if you don’t let them know we’ve been in touch. I know loved ones always have suggestions as to … [Read more...]

Three in the Bed: Or, make that Four in the Bed.

I have often dedicated blog space to my immense fear of scorpions. If you aren't in the southwest you may find my concern odd—much the same way I don't understand your worry of driving through a snowstorm or fear that the winter season is now October through April. For those of us living sans-snow, our trade-off appears to be a willingness to live with a vile little creature with a horrible … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Facebook 101

Social media is an essential part of today’s “always in touch with everybody all the time” lifestyle! Who knows when you might want to take a picture of your lunch? And what would you do with it if it weren’t for Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter? I mean, the people in Australia may have never seen a tuna sandwich on rye. So since some of you may not know how to use social media … [Read more...]

Silicon Mom: Excess Baggage

As most of you know, I lost half my body weight between Dec. 2012 and Sept. 2013.  That left me with a lot of excess skin and two very very sad boobs.  Because of all the exercise I did, underneath that skin I was pretty fit, so my joke was I had the body of an extremely fit 80-year-old woman.  Joking aside, that extra skin really impacted my view of myself. In clothes, I looked amazing.  … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: My Summer F*&# It List

School is ready to release for the summer, and Pinterest tells me all the good mothers of the world are looking forward to accomplishing five hundred things on their “Summer Bucket Lists” while enrolling their precious progeny in day camps, sports clinics, adventure learning sessions, and spending invaluable “quality downtime” as a family. Um… yeah. That’s not exactly my plan for the … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: Coping with the End of the School Year

I look ridiculous. I thought I had it all together, having taken the time this weekend to dye my grays, polish my toes and rid myself of unwanted hair.  (Note: there’s still a crapload of unwanted hair.  I took the maximum effect with minimum effort approach.  Like all sane working moms.  No, seriously.  Shut it, with your stories of waxing and threading and multiple attempts at laser … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: “Hip” Replacement

My husband and I are in the golden years. What is the definition of that term, you ask? Well, it is the time of life when there is no longer “the office,” children are grown and gone, there is Ben Gay in the medicine cabinet, and some of us like to get home before dark. But wait. Just because we are getting older does not mean that we aren’t cool. There is such a thing as an old hipster. … [Read more...]

Silicon Mom: That’s What Little Boys Are Made Of

Caveman is five.  FIVE—as in one hand.  His room already carries the distinct odor of boy. Parents of boys, or teachers, or coaches, or humans who have ever been near boys know what I mean.  It’s a kind of musty, stinky smell that just, well, is the smell of boy.  I knew it would come one day, but I thought there would be two digits in his age.  Unfortunately, I was wrong. Recently, … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw:

My eight year old threw up a little this morning.  In the street.  On the walk to school. “Honey, what just happened?  Are you ok?” Goddammit.  Couldn’t he have thrown up tomorrow? Or last Friday?  I could have easily worked from home either of those days.  In fact I DID work from home last Friday…and I had to leave work early on Thursday to deal with the fact that my six … [Read more...]