View from the Empty Nest: Food Fatigue

I fully understand teamwork. Division of labor makes all kinds of sense. But somewhere along the line, the division of labor over here has become depressing. At least to me. Of course, I am sure that my husband must get tired of mowing the lawn. But he only has to do it in the summer, and only once in awhile. And being outside, strolling behind the mower and stopping to talk with the neighbors … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: What Autism Looks Like… Really

I read through the test results, which may as well have been written in Japanese, for all I got out of the therapy-speak and scoring, but there... under "Conclusion"... there was what I've known, all along. My daughter, Curlytop, is one of many, many people in the world who reside within the Autism Spectrum. God, I was so relieved to finally have an accurate diagnosis! I was so ready to fax … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: Motherhood Ruined my Jams

My new car has satellite radio, y’all. This is a new, exciting, grown-up thing for me. Initially, I was in love with the idea of “all 80s, all the time,” just one click away from “badass hits of the 90s,” but reviving the music of my youth isn’t the walk down memory lane I’d hoped for. How the hell did this filth become the anthems of my youth?! Looking back on my fave songs … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Just Your Average Joe

I read an article recently that made a lot of sense, and it also caused great relief. The gist of the article was that our common perception of what is “average” has been vastly inflated by the media. The result is that most of us think what is “normal” is actually far above it. Let me cite an example: Granite countertops. Whenever I watch HGTV, all the young couples looking for their … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: Fifty Shades of ‘Meh’

So, there’s a movie coming out this weekend. 50 Shades of Something? A lot of my clients are really excited about it, and as a sexual health educator and purveyor of intimacy-enhancing items, I won’t say it’s been bad for business. What I will say is… I don’t see the point. As you may know, the movie is based upon a trilogy of books which are -- literarily speaking -- a shining … [Read more...]

Yours Mine and Theirs: Oh, the Emptiness…

It started in the bathroom. Upon waking I had to pee so bad, I was having third trimester flashbacks. Maybe it was too much caffeine, or maybe it was the last glass of wine before bed, but I had to go. The sweet relief of release was tainted by the empty toilet paper roll staring back at me from the spindle. No back-up rolls, either. Ugh. Thankfully, I’ve trained hard for the Drip-Dry event … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Flu 101

Are you one of the few people in the US who hasn't had the flu yet? You might need some tips from the rest of us who have had it. Follow these, and perhaps your flu experience will be more pleasant and fulfilling! For heaven's sake, stock up on tissue. I find that the kind with the lotion is overrated. Your nose will get all chapped anyway. So: Stock up on Vaseline. Actually, this is an … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Reach Out and Touch Somebody. But Not Literally.

Sherry Turkle is an MIT professor who has written a number of books. She began as a real fan of social media. Oh, gosh. Some of you may not know what that is. Facebook you know about, right? Well, that is one social media platform. There are HUNDREDS. Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Stumbleupon, Tsu, Reddit. The list goes on and on. Millions of us—maybe billions of us, use social media every day. … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Wrong Number

Remember land lines? When the phone on your kitchen wall would ring, and you would answer it and talk to somebody? And that was it? You couldn’t see people’s lunch photos on it, or get a text message? Life was so much simpler then. Now, we feel compelled to stay in touch with everybody all the time. I think that the population of the world really needs to see the latest pictures of my … [Read more...]

Yours, Mine and Theirs: Sorry I’m Not Sorry My Kid Didn’t Get Her Homework Done

Dear Third Grade Classroom Teacher: Sorry I'm not sorry Curlytop didn't get her homework packet done. I know your weekly schedule is probably very busy, and finding time to make sure my daughter is completing her assigned work is probably pretty stressful. To add to your chaos level, you happen have the distinct misfortune of having me as one of your classroom parents. Not that I'm a total … [Read more...]