Yours, Mine and Theirs: I’m Ready… Or Not!

I had the good fortune to see my 39th birthday last month. Yep. This year will be the last time I’ll be able to say, with a smile and straight face, “I’m only 39!” Am I ready to turn 40? Not really. I don’t feel 40. Except my feet. My feet feel every single day of 60. They’ve logged a lot of miles, hops and bounces -- walking down to the old swimming hole every day of every summer … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: Tipping Point

You know when you reach your tipping point and you say to yourself (and anyone who’ll listen) that if anything else gets thrown onto your spinning plates you’ll have to be institutionalized and then lo and behold a lot of crapola suddenly gets thrown onto one of the plates and though you’re shocked that you haven’t had a nervous breakdown, you feel guilty about it because if you did have a … [Read more...]

Three in the Bed: Presents or Presence?

There is no shortage of birthday party invites making their way into my kid’s bags. Over the years we have been to all sorts of parties: pirate parties and princess parties and it seems we’ve been to every venue from bowling alleys to bounce houses. Recently however, my son Pookie brought home an invite with a twist I had not seen before, printed at the bottom it stated, “No Presents … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: New Wives Tales

It is about time that we do something about Old Wives’ Tales. All those old wives died eons ago. Their tales no longer resonate with anybody. But we all need something to cling to in these days of the one percent, global warming, and falling real estate values. So I have taken it upon myself to give the world some New Wives’ Tales. You can thank me later. Feed a cold. Feed a fever. Feed a … [Read more...]

Silicon Mom: Review of ‘Princess’s Hair Salon in the Bathroom’

I couldn’t find this place on Yelp, so I’m forced to leave my review here. I should have known that visiting this “salon,” if you can even call it that, was a bad idea when I was basically forced to visit it against my will.  I thought perhaps the name was a cute marketing trick, but no—this “salon” is literally located in a bathroom, as in there is a tub, toilet, and sink.  My … [Read more...]

Second Act: “And the Award Goes to….”

Last Sunday brought with it one of my favorite days of the year – Oscar Day!  The Academy Awards have long been sacred in my house; the day when I can live vicariously through the glamorous actors and actresses that I admire.  There were many years, growing up and into my young adulthood, when I would fantasize that I, svelte and glamorous, would walk the red carpet amongst the famous and … [Read more...]

Silicon Mom: Love for JLK

This isn’t the column I was planning to write.  I had something planned—something light, and kind of funny, and that captured one of the sweet moments of parenting.  But then something happened. A friend lost her six-year-old daughter.  This mother, Libby, who was part of Caveman’s playgroup as a baby, is amazing.  She and her husband struggled with infertility for years, coping with … [Read more...]

Three in the Bed: Is Friendship Magic?

My daughter Sun-Bun loves My Little Pony, and when I say love, I mean love in that sort of way that if it were possible for her to climb into the television and transport herself to the pony land of Equestria, I’m pretty sure she’d draw a cutie-mark on her behind and blow me a quick kiss good-bye. Sun-Bun is six and fortunately, many other girls at her school also enjoy the show. Sun-Bun has … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Stream of Conscious Vacuuming

This seems so futile; I do it over and over. I wish I could just go take a nap. Housework is never done. So maybe I should just stop doing it altogether. Although my Mother would say (may she rest in peace) that I never have done housework; I just do damage control. I bet Mom hated doing stairs. I am going to say the hell with it and have cake for lunch. My God, another … [Read more...]

Your, Mine and Theirs: Not Your Typical Valentine’s Day

As the mother of two children with Red Dye allergies, no holiday is more terrifying than Valentine’s Day. So. Much. Pink. And, red. Oh, and also some purple, thrown in for good measure. My kids are the odd ones out, whose teachers have to capture all the candies attached to the cheap, cartoon-splashed paper cards. We send “safe” treats for Curlytop and Snugglebug, for which they trade in … [Read more...]