Mommy in the Raw: Work Life Balance is a Ridiculous Term

This week, my sister had a baby, my family was kicked out of our apartment so the landlord could deal with our flooded bedrooms/moldy walls, and I discovered I’m plum out of vacation/sick/personal days at work because I stupidly took a two week vacation before all this cray-cray started. This is not an issue of work-life balance or work-life fit.  I’m not sitting here contemplating how to … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: Coping with the End of the School Year

I look ridiculous. I thought I had it all together, having taken the time this weekend to dye my grays, polish my toes and rid myself of unwanted hair.  (Note: there’s still a crapload of unwanted hair.  I took the maximum effect with minimum effort approach.  Like all sane working moms.  No, seriously.  Shut it, with your stories of waxing and threading and multiple attempts at laser … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw:

My eight year old threw up a little this morning.  In the street.  On the walk to school. “Honey, what just happened?  Are you ok?” Goddammit.  Couldn’t he have thrown up tomorrow? Or last Friday?  I could have easily worked from home either of those days.  In fact I DID work from home last Friday…and I had to leave work early on Thursday to deal with the fact that my six … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: Tipping Point

You know when you reach your tipping point and you say to yourself (and anyone who’ll listen) that if anything else gets thrown onto your spinning plates you’ll have to be institutionalized and then lo and behold a lot of crapola suddenly gets thrown onto one of the plates and though you’re shocked that you haven’t had a nervous breakdown, you feel guilty about it because if you did have a … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: An Entire Day Elapses Between the Time I wake Up and the Time I Arrive at Work. It’s the Working Mom Time Warp.

This morning I was on my “A” game.  This means I’d packed my boys lunch, set out their breakfast, and gotten myself showered all before 7am. Impressive, right? See, we had be ready to leave by 7:35 to meet with my 8 year old’s teacher at 7:45 because he keeps getting tattled on and this one kid keeps teasing him and at recess people aren’t playing nicely and then somebody tripped … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: The Hidden Side Effects of this Spring Forward/Fall Back Nonsense

Daylight Savings Time and I are not friends.  The automatic gain/loss of a entire hour of my life causes a switch to be flipped deep within me.  Hence since yesterday, I've been acting real weird.  I watch myself and I'm like, "Damn! Who is that lady?"  (The fact that I'm referring to myself as a "lady" is also proof that I'm, well, not being me.) Additional Evidence: 1.  Dates are … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: Supreme Ruler

In my family, we've set up a very specific, albeit loose, power structure: I'm the boss of my husband, my husband's the boss of our 7 year old, our 7 year old is the boss of our five year old, our five year old is the boss of our cat, our cat is the boss of our turtle. (For the record, that last dynamic is still a work in progress.) This hierarchy developed over time and is a bi-product of one … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: Mommy’s Bag of Tricks

You know that one sweaty lady in your meeting who’s too young to be menopausal but too old and out of shape to have used “going to work” as an opportunity to get her daily run in? Yeah, hi. That’s me. I’m that hot mess today. I felt thin and put together when I left the house. After walking both my boys to camp in 100% NYC humidity, I’ve gained 10lbs, grown panty lines, and am … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: Learning to Vacation

I think I need vacation medication.  You know, that pill that forces you to forget real life and focus on the picturesque one on Cape Cod that you paid good money to live for the week?  Yeah.  I may just start a little side business to create my own special working mother’s little helper.  Vacation edition. Or, is that what piña colada’s are for? See, here’s the thing: I can’t … [Read more...]

Mommy in the Raw: Interior Mom-ologue

Any Monday morning, 6:00am So, if I make lunches first, then I’m showering while the kids are eating breakfast.  If I shower first, then I can hang out with the kids and make lunches while they’re eating breakfast. But before I shower, I need to check my email.  Jesus Christ, when did my gmail account turn into spam central?  I gotta unsubscribe from all this sh*t.  Except for J … [Read more...]