Uncorked in the ‘Burbs

Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: Mom Camp

It’s summer here in the states, and I’m in the middle of sending my kids to a various mash-up of camps, babysitters, grandparents to keep them occupied and out of trouble for the next few months.  As I sat and perused the camp offerings for my kids, I was amazed at the things my kids could do for a week at a time:

  • Renaissance Camp, where they can learn archery, to joust, paint and play olde time games.
  • Lego Robot Camp, where they can build really cool robots out of their favorite plastic pieces
  • Chef Camp, where they can make cookies, cakes, brownies and all kinds of sweet creations, decorating them to their heart’s content.
  • Talent Camp, where they can dance, sing, act, paint… anything they’re interested in making or doing.

And as I was looking at all these offerings, I had to admit: I’m extremely jealous.  And I want to know where I can sign up?  All these things they get to do are really cool and sound like a lot of fun!

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: Pinterest Hoard

Like many a mom, I’m a Pinterest user. I have boards on top of boards: fun crafts to do with the kids, ideas for decorating, recipes (oh, so many, many recipes), makeup tips, inspirational sayings, books to read… it goes on and on and on.

I have come to realize that I am a pinterest hoarder.  I collect.  And collect.  And then collect some more.

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: The Grass is Greener

When it comes to motherhood and work, in comes in all shapes, sizes and permutations: stay at home moms, work outside the house moms, telecommuting moms – and everything in between.  But regardless of what you’re currently doing, chances are you’ve dreamed that the grass is greener on the other side.

With that in mind, see if any of these sound familiar.

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: I Like Big Butts

My 6 year old loves music.  Any kind of music, but he especially loves Rock and Roll — put another dime in the jukebox, baby!   Last year he found an old 90s style boom box in our basement, a remnant from one too many moves.  (We had to move the refrigerator.  We had to move the color TV) – complete with radio, CD player and cassette tape player that still actually works.  He spent most of the time just listening to the radio, rejoicing in the ability to Turn Up The Radio at will.

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: Prepare the Thunderdome

Just when your “Getting 2-kids-ready-for-school while simultaneously getting your own self ready for work” routine has been perfected … let me welcome you to:  Holiday Break!

And in my house, that means it’s time to prepare the sibling Thunderdome.

My kids truly love each other.  They’re one another’s best friends, honestly—sneaking into each other’s room to sleep together and whispering and giggling and playing… all despite the gender difference and 4-year grade gap.

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: I Pick Things Up and Put Them Down

I realized the other day that I, like the infamous ad/internet meme, spend an inordinate amount of any particular day picking things up and putting them down. Just today, when I was granted a generous hour of parole – er, I mean free time – because my wonderful parents took the kids out to breakfast, I spent the ENTIRE 90 minute reprieve picking things up and putting them down.

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: WTF is in My Purse??

I remember the days when Emma and Ryan were just babes, and I was forced – out of necessity – to abandon my cute little pre-parenting purse in favor of a roomier version: the dreaded diaper bag.  I longed for the days when the kids were older and I would be able to shed my minivan of a shoulder bag and slim back down into a cute little thing that weighed less than the bag of rocks Ryan lugged home the other day.

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: The Almost Over

With the upcoming advent of Emma’s 9th birthday (and the looming, desert-like stretch of summer holiday) I’ve been getting a lot of requests for sleepovers with friends.  While some girls have been doing the whole sleepover thing for a long time and it’s old hat, there are quite a few where this might be the first time sleeping away from home — and they’re really hesitant about staying the whole night away from home.

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: Ransom Note

Please, please PLEASE come rescue me. While I love my children dearly, I cannot abide one more made up play, scene, skit, recital (voice or *shiver* other musical instrument) or whatever they decide to stage in the living room.

These un-scripted, un-pointed and unending dramas, comedies, dances, musicals (I use the loosest sense of the word possible here) and meanderings are driving me insane. I’m as happy as the next person to watch my kids try to remember their lines or their steps in recitals, plays, etc. But these two-kid homestyle variety shows are a different beast altogether.

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Uncorked in the ‘Burbs: Buddy Bear Comes Home

Monday I picked up Ryan from preschool and I saw him carrying a bag I didn’t recognize. As I looked at his shining, beaming face, he ran to me and said, “Momma! I got Buddy Bear for the week!”

Well, crap.

Buddy Bear is the traveling bear that goes to “visit” each preschooler’s home for a few days. After a few days at home, the preschooler is supposed to bring the bear back to school, along with a write-up of what Buddy Bear did while he was at your home. Sounds pretty innocuous, right?

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