That’s No Rubber Ducky!

Sunday night, I was tub-side, watching my son and daughter engage in their weekly WWF aquatic match. Luke was standing up as he does 95% of the time (I haven’t convinced him it is safer to sit) when I noticed a piece of brown paper on his bum. You know, like those old school brown paper towel fragments. So I reached down and wiped it off with my finger.

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Stuff You Should Read When You Lock Yourself in the Bathroom-Volume 8

1.) You should absolutely, positively read this before school starts. It will remind you that we are all trying to be “that Mom,” but none of us actually are.

2.) The kids who are entering college as freshman this year have NEVER had to lick a postage stamp. Think about that. Oh, and they were born the same year that Princess Diana died. We are old, people! These kids are going to COLLEGE! Want to be even more horrified? Check out this article that gives the full rundown of exactly what these kids know—and, more importantly, don’t know.

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Reporter Makes Little Boy Cry on First Day of School

It’s all fun and games until… it’s not. KTLA TV Reporter Courtney Friel found that out the hard way when she picked a super cute little pre-schooler as he ventures off to his first day of school. What she didn’t bank on is the fact that a kid that age can switch from laughing to crying in a matter of—well, milliseconds. Especially when you laugh at their joke—and it wasn’t meant to be a joke.

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Dearest Siri,

Now that we are BFFs, I just can’t tell you how much I love and admire you. You are so wise about so many things. I can ask you where to get sports bras at a discount. I mean, really. And I will never not know where the nearest Starbucks is. Whew.

We do need to talk, though. It’s about my husband. I think he is smitten, and I wish you would quit chatting with him so much. He doesn’t really need directions to anywhere—he was an Eagle Scout, for God’s sake, and he can read maps.

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