The Grass is Always Greener

Not gonna lie. I am anticipating and celebrating the end of school just as much as the kids are. I am counting down the days until all the commitments are done. The everyday routine is over. No more packing lunches. Rushing off to the bus. Fussing over homework, and practicing, and bedtime routines.

But give it a week. Maybe two.

A week or two of this:

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Dinner Party

I suppose that in Paris, if you are invited to someone’s home for dinner, it is really about the wine. Or maybe in New York City, it is about the sparkling conversation, or maybe the clothes the women are wearing. I guess in most cities, it is not really about the food.

I think this is wrong. I live in Ohio. The heart of the Midwest. Although if you look at a map, Ohio really ISN’T in the middle of the west, but I digress. We have dinner parties in Dayton. There are glamorous people hosting them. Not at my house, however. Another digression. What bothers me is the disingenuousness of all this. Because in my opinion, dinner parties should be about the dinner.

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Really, is there anything worse than the “I’m going to say whatever you say” game? Really, is there anything worse than the “I’m going to say whatever you say” game?

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No more teachers no more books. No more… packing lunches, correcting homework, waking up at the crack of dawn, searching for library books, chasing the bus…

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You Could Lock Your Kids Inside for the Summer  

Or you could put sunscreen on them. It’s hard to say which is the better alternative. Especially when you consider the process it takes to protect your littl’uns from the harmful effects of UVB Rays. Or is it UVA?

Sarah Bruegel (of ScaryMommy.com) wrote a handy guide to help get you through the process, in just 20 easy steps. We particularly like numbers 12 and 13:

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How Do You Explain a Typewriter to a Kid?

You can’t do it without gesturing, can you? You have to push back the slide-y thing and say “ding” —or make the “vvvt, vvvt, vvvt” sound of the paper being fed through.

No one tackles this kind of subject better than Ellen. She’s so good that the kids start to mistake her voice for the answering machine.

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