A Toast to the RollerCoaster Ride that is Motherhood
This post is being sponsored by Bandit Wines. Visit them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bandit or online at www.banditwines.com for a look at their brand new packaging—and to find out where it’s available in your area. So you think you want to try hiking. Maybe with some Mom friends? Or on a romantic date with your spouse? Or maybe, just maybe, with the kids? You know what? It's a great … [Read more...]
Dear newly pregnant person: I am getting adjusted to the thought that I am now qualified to enter the age group known as “grandparents.” I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I cannot wait to hold your baby and give it right back as soon as he/she starts squalling. However, I am not really enthusiastic about being officially “old.” Because, of course, if you have a … [Read more...]
Whining Down: Life Particles A few weeks ago, my husband casually mentioned switching up the girls’ beds and moving our oldest to her own room. When I didn’t answer right away, he seemed confused as to why I checked out for, what seemed like hours but amounted to a second. I took a cleansing breath, and gave him just the trailer of the giant Motion PITA he had implanted into my brain … [Read more...]
The book signing went well, with the exception of my girdle (what do they call them now -- body shapers?) nearly asphyxiating me. My editor stopped by to snap a few photos, commenting, "That's a lot of makeup and cleavage. Would you be more comfortable signing those out on the street corner?" Adopting the moniker "Sexy Vegan Mama" didn't seem like a bad idea in my early thirtysomethings, … [Read more...]
I should have turned this column in on Tuesday. I tried. Really, I did. I opened Word. I stared at the blank white page and the blinking cursor. Then someone was hungry, or there was a fight over how Princess told Caveman he didn’t know what mangos taste like, or something of equal significance, and I gave up. I don’t know if it’s the weather, the end of the school year, the … [Read more...]
Wine: Oreana Santa Ynez Valley “Tilly” 2008; Chardonnay Santa Barbara County 2010 Vintage: Red: 2008; Chardonnay: 2010 Alcohol percentage: Red: 13.8%; Chardonnay: 13.8% Found at: The California Wine Club My imaginary boyfriend cheated on me. Yes, it’s true. Here is the worst part. He cheated on me with my friend Sara. I didn’t know he even knew her??? She lives … [Read more...]
There are some places where (no matter how much you want to) you can never bring a bottle of wine. Like a PTA meeting for example. Never a good idea. Then there are other places where you may THINK you can never bring a bottle of wine—because it's just not practical. Like on a hiking trip. Or to the beach. (Or when you go running and screaming from the house into the woods.) But while it's … [Read more...]
Crap mornings shoot my day. I wish my kids would just do what I ask them to do the first time I ask them to do it. I swear, that alone would procure a lifetime’s supply rainbows and butterflies. But after I’ve repeated the words “brush your teeth” 15 times, I’m bound to lose my shit. Really, deep down in their pure little five and seven year old hearts, they’re asking for … [Read more...]
For days I was rolling around different topics for a post on Earth Day like, five reasons to recycle your wine bottles, or three clever ways to reuse them (hello Pinterest wine bottle crafts) or how to reduce the number of wine bottles in your home (conclusion, not possible). Then I came across an article about Stephen Hawking, the highly acclaimed physicist who wrote, A Brief History of Time. … [Read more...]
