View from the Empty Nest: Paris Awaits

People who have the courage to just stop what they are doing and start all over are heroic, in my opinion. Reinventing oneself is unbelievably courageous. Once most of us are on a path, living in a place, doing a job, and making a living, that is it—whether we are happy or not. So it was with great admiration that I watched the latest episode of House Hunters International. Wow. I had to … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Facebook 101

Social media is an essential part of today’s “always in touch with everybody all the time” lifestyle! Who knows when you might want to take a picture of your lunch? And what would you do with it if it weren’t for Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter? I mean, the people in Australia may have never seen a tuna sandwich on rye. So since some of you may not know how to use social media … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: “Hip” Replacement

My husband and I are in the golden years. What is the definition of that term, you ask? Well, it is the time of life when there is no longer “the office,” children are grown and gone, there is Ben Gay in the medicine cabinet, and some of us like to get home before dark. But wait. Just because we are getting older does not mean that we aren’t cool. There is such a thing as an old hipster. … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: A Cautionary Tale

I have a problem. Well, I suppose I have many problems, but the one I am going to discuss here comes from my need to have as many pets as I possibly can. I think I am the victim of the times. Remember when every family had A car? And A bathroom? And, if they were lucky, A television? And A pet? This all changed somewhere in the mega decade of the seventies, when apparently all Americans got … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: New Wives Tales

It is about time that we do something about Old Wives’ Tales. All those old wives died eons ago. Their tales no longer resonate with anybody. But we all need something to cling to in these days of the one percent, global warming, and falling real estate values. So I have taken it upon myself to give the world some New Wives’ Tales. You can thank me later. Feed a cold. Feed a fever. Feed a … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Stream of Conscious Vacuuming

This seems so futile; I do it over and over. I wish I could just go take a nap. Housework is never done. So maybe I should just stop doing it altogether. Although my Mother would say (may she rest in peace) that I never have done housework; I just do damage control. I bet Mom hated doing stairs. I am going to say the hell with it and have cake for lunch. My God, another … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: Beck and Call

No one really listens to the officiant who marries them. They are too excited and in love. We promise all kinds of things. We used to even say we would “honor and obey.” I think they have taken THAT out of the ceremony. However, the part about “sickness and health” is still in there. And we promise that, too. Most people are very young and healthy when they get married. Sickness? What’s … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: I’d Like to Thank the Little People

At my age, the odds that I am going to win anything big are looking slim. No matter how hard I try to make people laugh, my name is unlikely to be known in households around the country. But in case something I say in an offhand manner somehow goes viral, and I end up with a popular TV sitcom based on my blog, starring William Shatner as the Accordion Player and Diane Keaton as me, I thought it … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: What Women Want

Christmas shopping?  My husband, along with many men, doesn’t want to be caught dead in a retail establishment .  For the men that I know well, Christmas shopping is a duty that is almost impossible to live up to.  For these men, and for all the men out there who feel helpless and lost in any store other than one selling hardware, I am going to present my TIPS FOR SHOPPING FOR FEMALES.  The … [Read more...]

View from the Empty Nest: When I’m 64

Ha. I bet the Beatles are absolutely RUEING the day they wrote that song. Because they are all way older than 64 now. And I also wager that they now wish they were so lucky as to be 64, because 64 is the new 40. Just to be clear, being in one’s 60’s is no picnic. No sir. Things start happening when you turn 60. Sagging things. Aching things. Blurry things. It is all so unfair, … [Read more...]